Marriage Policy of Grace Reformed Church

1. The pastor may not marry a believer and an unbeliever. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). If there is reason to doubt a person’s salvation, then the believing party should postpone any plans for marriage, until such time as this doubtful matter has been dealt with.

 

2. The pastor may not join in marriage a member of our congregation with someone who is not a member of a faithful Christian church. The Bible requires church membership for those who desire to be recognized as Christians. This involves being baptized, publicly confessing faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and promising to submit to the authority of His Church (Matthew 16:16-19; 18:15-18; Acts 2:37-47; Hebrews 13:17). 

 

3. Both parties must be members of a faithful Christian Church, one which preaches the one true gospel. The Bible says there is only one gospel, and “if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed” (Galatians 1:9). The one true gospel is that eternal life is a gift which is given to those who believe in Jesus Christ, and is not something we earn or obtain by our good works (Galatians 2:16).

 

4. The pastor will not begin pre-marital counseling until both parties are members of a faithful Christian church.

 

5. Since it is possible to be a member of a church and yet not be a true believer in Jesus Christ, it is necessary to ask both parties to examine themselves to see if they are truly Christians (2 Corinthians 13:5). A Christian is a person who believes and confesses that he has never kept any of God’s commandments, and therefore deserves the eternal penalty for breaking God’s law. A Christian believes and confesses that his only escape from hell is the Lord Jesus Christ, the eternal Son of God in human flesh, who died on the cross for sinners. Christ, in dying for His people, took the punishment they deserve for their sins. The death of Christ actually accomplished the complete salvation of His people. They can do nothing to deserve salvation, and they can contribute nothing toward their salvation. Eternal life is a gift. “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest any one boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9). Since we are sinners, we are unwilling to believe this good news unless God causes us to believe. Jesus said, “No one can come to Me unless it has been given to him by My Father” (John 6:65).

 

6. The proof that we have truly believed in Jesus is that we live for Him and not for ourselves. Christ “died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again” (2 Corinthians 5:15). Jesus said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). “He who says, I know Him, and does not keep His Commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him” (1 John 2:4).

 

7. Since obedience to Christ’s commands is the evidence that a person is a true believer, the pastor may not marry two professing Christians if they have had sex with each other before marriage – unless they have asked the Lord to forgive them and they make a vow not to have sex with each other until after they are married.

 

8. The pastor requires at least 6 sessions of pre-marital counseling prior to the wedding.